It's very funny for me to write an article on the subject matter of marriage without being married. As a person who is leading bachelor life, I may not give you the comprehensive feelings on this subject, but still wanted to discuss some of my observations that I have derived from the relationship of my parents, married friends, colleagues and relatives.
Marriage is a sacred bondage that carries many new responsibilities, new struggles and joyful movements. It exposes you, all of a sudden, to a new environment where you got to meet different new people with different attitudes having different relations. You are expected by everyone to manage all these relations and to cope up with new responsibilities. Both partners are responsible to nourish new relation and make it long lasting with shared responsibility.
The journey of this beautiful voyage starts with marriage and ends with death. Everyone excited of his/her life partner and it is more or less a wonderful feeling to have found their life mate. The initial days of married life goes with exploring each other in different angles provided by different opportunities, this period of time is absolutely equal to moon light dinner for many couples as the couples relation is tightly intertwined with romance.At this juncture, every couple experience an overwhelming certainty that they will love their partner forever.But, the biggest question here is how long this love lasts?. We have practical examples of many couples who ended their relation in different stages of their marriage.we can divide these stages into three categories.
1.Very soon after the couple got married.
2.After moon light dinner period is over.
3.Till the death of any one.
4.Till the death of both.
The first category people end up their relation very soon after their marriage even before to their romantic life. The breakup here are mainly driven by materialistic causes of money, ego clashes in marriage process and also a psychological cause of immaturity of couple and their families. This I have red in news papers in many cases, the problem being the dowry factor and ego clashes.
The second category people end up their relation because of immature excitement of marriage. This category people enjoy their relation as long as the romantic life continues. Once the romantic component of life starts retreating to normalcy, the couple misunderstands that the component of love is coming down. This problem arises only when couple miss-associates love with romance. In-fact, in many cases true love emerges little later the honey moon nights of the couple is over. By the time the love flourishes between them the materialistic components poses many challenges to the couple and that challenges leads to break up of relation. It would be very difficult to find out root causes of break up as many times the claimed causes are not real causes. The real cause is always failure in development of true love.
The third category people end up their relation with the death of his/her partner. These people are matured enough and practical in sense of maintaining relations. They share love each other and this love flourishes out of struggle driven periods of couple than the romance and joy driven periods. The love that the couple have already developed would be further strengthened by strong binding force of children. Children makes the bond of couple more strong and opens a sudden new door for a different joy of them. Children too would bring some extra burden to couple, but still couple wanted to bear it and enjoy the sweet burden. Once one of the partner meets with death, then the other partner becomes alone in-spite of many people around him including his/her children. This loneliness becomes unbearable and sometimes provokes him/her for remarriage provided with sufficient age and pressure from family. This is mostly possible for men than to women. Indian culture restricts women remarriage up-to considerable level and it is further difficult if she has children from first marriage.
The fourth category people end up their bond only with the death of both partners. This is possible only in case of highly matured couple. For these couples the love flourishes as it happened in third category people. But, the love here is not possession, it is an emotional devotion. Love cherishes emotional bondage to it's zenith and sustains the certainty with eternal values. In this case even if one of the partner meets with death, the other partner would lead his/her rest of the life with sweet memories that they have shared in their relation. This relation shall make no noise and do no dance on the faces of couple. It silently sits inside of couple's deep heart. The feelings that waves in the bottom of their heart is inexpressible to poetic sense, it only sensible to meditative mind. The couple feel the same sense of residence from the place of paradise to the guest house of graveyard.
All the above categories, except fourth category, are subjected to material impacts with varying level of degree. Today's world is showing up most of cosmetic love to us than pure love, people want to expose their love to external world than nourishing it themselves to make it further deepen. It is better not to expose our love always to outside environment of our family. Our love doesn't require of others attention.
The subject matter of marriage is too complex and it is very difficult for people like me to discuss it with holistic view without any experience. It contains physiological needs, psychological balances, philosophical impacts, cultural guidance and above all the need of loved one. Whether your partner turn as loved one or not is totally depends on how you patronage your relation with all these components from day one on-wards.
We are so happy being Indians because our culture had great many required parameters for the building of strong marital relation. Our marriage system joins successfully two unknown persons together and slowly indoctrinates them with the essence of love and lasts forever as a sign of sacrality till the last breath of them.
-- I wish all married people a wonderful journey and unmarried people to get marry soon--
---- Opinion is subjected to change after my marriage :) :) :)
Marriage is a sacred bondage that carries many new responsibilities, new struggles and joyful movements. It exposes you, all of a sudden, to a new environment where you got to meet different new people with different attitudes having different relations. You are expected by everyone to manage all these relations and to cope up with new responsibilities. Both partners are responsible to nourish new relation and make it long lasting with shared responsibility.
The journey of this beautiful voyage starts with marriage and ends with death. Everyone excited of his/her life partner and it is more or less a wonderful feeling to have found their life mate. The initial days of married life goes with exploring each other in different angles provided by different opportunities, this period of time is absolutely equal to moon light dinner for many couples as the couples relation is tightly intertwined with romance.At this juncture, every couple experience an overwhelming certainty that they will love their partner forever.But, the biggest question here is how long this love lasts?. We have practical examples of many couples who ended their relation in different stages of their marriage.we can divide these stages into three categories.
1.Very soon after the couple got married.
2.After moon light dinner period is over.
3.Till the death of any one.
4.Till the death of both.
The first category people end up their relation very soon after their marriage even before to their romantic life. The breakup here are mainly driven by materialistic causes of money, ego clashes in marriage process and also a psychological cause of immaturity of couple and their families. This I have red in news papers in many cases, the problem being the dowry factor and ego clashes.
The second category people end up their relation because of immature excitement of marriage. This category people enjoy their relation as long as the romantic life continues. Once the romantic component of life starts retreating to normalcy, the couple misunderstands that the component of love is coming down. This problem arises only when couple miss-associates love with romance. In-fact, in many cases true love emerges little later the honey moon nights of the couple is over. By the time the love flourishes between them the materialistic components poses many challenges to the couple and that challenges leads to break up of relation. It would be very difficult to find out root causes of break up as many times the claimed causes are not real causes. The real cause is always failure in development of true love.
The third category people end up their relation with the death of his/her partner. These people are matured enough and practical in sense of maintaining relations. They share love each other and this love flourishes out of struggle driven periods of couple than the romance and joy driven periods. The love that the couple have already developed would be further strengthened by strong binding force of children. Children makes the bond of couple more strong and opens a sudden new door for a different joy of them. Children too would bring some extra burden to couple, but still couple wanted to bear it and enjoy the sweet burden. Once one of the partner meets with death, then the other partner becomes alone in-spite of many people around him including his/her children. This loneliness becomes unbearable and sometimes provokes him/her for remarriage provided with sufficient age and pressure from family. This is mostly possible for men than to women. Indian culture restricts women remarriage up-to considerable level and it is further difficult if she has children from first marriage.
The fourth category people end up their bond only with the death of both partners. This is possible only in case of highly matured couple. For these couples the love flourishes as it happened in third category people. But, the love here is not possession, it is an emotional devotion. Love cherishes emotional bondage to it's zenith and sustains the certainty with eternal values. In this case even if one of the partner meets with death, the other partner would lead his/her rest of the life with sweet memories that they have shared in their relation. This relation shall make no noise and do no dance on the faces of couple. It silently sits inside of couple's deep heart. The feelings that waves in the bottom of their heart is inexpressible to poetic sense, it only sensible to meditative mind. The couple feel the same sense of residence from the place of paradise to the guest house of graveyard.
All the above categories, except fourth category, are subjected to material impacts with varying level of degree. Today's world is showing up most of cosmetic love to us than pure love, people want to expose their love to external world than nourishing it themselves to make it further deepen. It is better not to expose our love always to outside environment of our family. Our love doesn't require of others attention.
The subject matter of marriage is too complex and it is very difficult for people like me to discuss it with holistic view without any experience. It contains physiological needs, psychological balances, philosophical impacts, cultural guidance and above all the need of loved one. Whether your partner turn as loved one or not is totally depends on how you patronage your relation with all these components from day one on-wards.
We are so happy being Indians because our culture had great many required parameters for the building of strong marital relation. Our marriage system joins successfully two unknown persons together and slowly indoctrinates them with the essence of love and lasts forever as a sign of sacrality till the last breath of them.
-- I wish all married people a wonderful journey and unmarried people to get marry soon--
---- Opinion is subjected to change after my marriage :) :) :)
